I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
