I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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