I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
