Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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