I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
