Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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