Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Mom said you looked used
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
