Swine flu is the new snow day.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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