Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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