I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
