You're my little dorito
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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