By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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