I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
