I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
