There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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