so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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