I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
