Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
