my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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