Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
