I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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