You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
