she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize