the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
