I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
