i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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