Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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