Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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