I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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