only if we run a train.
done.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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