have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
