Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
