he thought i was a dude.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
