well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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