If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
