I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
