I think I am morally bankrupt
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
