a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I feel like death gave me a hand job
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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