It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
