no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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