So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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