:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
