I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
