I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
