i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
