it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
