I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize