just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You ruined the universe
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
