seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
this is an emotional support booty call
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
