he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
