I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
A+ Viking dick
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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