the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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