One girl and one boy is just not enough.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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