I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
