Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
