I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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