There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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