what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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